Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize