I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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