I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
