There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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