Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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