For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
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I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
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I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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