Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
