So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
