If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's rum buckets o'clock
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.