I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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