On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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