omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
