You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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