hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
