bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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