Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
