i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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