yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Say something about gay babies.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
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I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
3pm strippers are depressing
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
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What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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