So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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