He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
