she woke up with a sticky ear
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
