so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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