remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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