Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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