You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm at about main and main street
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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