i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
