we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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