Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
