literally had 100 drinks last night.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
