the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
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Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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