I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize