So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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