im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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