I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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