at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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