I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize