I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
