Duck Duck Cougar?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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