hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
