David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
