whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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