remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
