im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I have fence marks all over my body
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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