What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
