Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
