roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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