marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
