Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
