Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
