oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
