She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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