Pappa wants mamma naked
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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