we have pet lesbian snakes
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
is wine microwaveable?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
