You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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