her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
