You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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