i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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