They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
