I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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