I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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