Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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