Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
