TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Holy sore nipples Batman
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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