i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
